John Petrucci is Fucking Huge

John Petrucci is Fucking Huge is back in action.
Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell your enemies’ friends (but stay away from your friends’ enemies).

Submit your fucking huge photos of John Petrucci and if they’re huge enough, I’ll post em. 

FACT: JP’s arms are the size of John Myung’s legs. 

Don’t believe me?  You don’t have to, there’s a fucking picture right here, wiseguy.

JP had no idea who the fuck this guy was.  Do you?

[image submitted by Aaron R…thanks!!!]

Much like man’s best friend, John Petrucci fucking LOVES wind in his face.  -CV

JP used to play with fucking science lab on stage.

Good news everyone: JohnPetrucciIsFuckingHuge’s internet is fucking working again!

[image submitted by Nils…thanks!!!]

JP fucking hates lefties.

I mean, who doesn’t?  Weirdos…

Be careful, front-rowers…if JP doesn’t like how you’re acting, he’ll come up and knee you right in the fucking face.

JP moonlights as Mike Portnoy’s personal bodyguard.

Not too fucking surprising really…

FAN MAIL:

F.A.Q.: “Just how fucking huge is John Petrucci? lol”

JPiFH: 18ft. tall…here he is on stage, towering over a 3x2 wall of amps.  And quit your laughin, this ain’t nothin to lawl about.

JP poses with one of his many fans, or as he likes to call them, “lunch.”

Someone should really look into this…I mean, the fucking guy eats people. 

True story - for years now, JP has been autographing guitars, “I’m god, just remember that. And don’t get any fucking ideas. John Petrucci.”

JP holds out one of his signature picks - a steel garbage can lid.  No, this is not a fucking camera trick.

JP sees you…and he’s not too fucking amused.